Poll: Who Will You Vote For?
AS THE ELECTION draws nearer, we’re asking you to tell us which one of these will you vote for? Note: Margin of error +/- 0% ©Louth Noises News, 2016.
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The Irish General Election 2016
Louth Fianna Fáil Cumman Selects Turnip as Compromise Candidate
FIANNA FÁIL HAS selected a turnip to stand in the Louth constituency as a compromise over gender quotas. Local party members claim they had no other option as no female candidate was available for selection and they couldn’t select a male to run. “It’s…
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Rabbitte Warns Sinn Féin to Back off on Misery Politics
FORMER LABOUR LEADER Pat Rabbitte has warned Sinn Féin to back off from misery politics. In a statement today to Louth Noises News, the labour TD said that the people’s misery was already taken. “It’s typical of Sinn Féin to try to…
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Renua Deny McElvaney for General Election Slot
LUCINDA CREIGHTON TODAY dismissed claims that disgraced Fine Gael Monaghan county councillor, Hugh McElvaney, is to stand as an election candidate for Renua in Cavan / Monaghan. The speculation follows the deselection of Mary Smyth over an outburst on Facebook, in which she…
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White Collar Crime to be Decriminalised
IF RETURNED TO power, the Fine Gael party has promised to decriminalise white collar crime. Minister for Justice, Frances Fitzgerald, has seen the radical proposal added to Fine Gael’s election manifesto for 2016. The policy is understood to have been formulated following recent meetings on policing…
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Government Parties to use Drones to Deliver Election Leaflets
GOVERNMENT PARTIES ARE planning to use drone technology to deliver election leaflets during the forthcoming campaign. In a bold move to head off angry voters, Fine Gael and Labour candidates will use drones to drop their election promises from heights of up…
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Jesus is Voting Fine Gael, says Kenny
TAOISEACH ENDA KENNY today announced that he spoke with Jesus Christ and that he’s voting Fine Gael. “He told me, you know, as I was waking up and getting ready for the day that he’s voting Fine Gael from now on….
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Tanaiste Launches Third Banking Force
TANAISTE JOAN BURTON today officially launched Ireland’s third banking force, The Food Bank. Cutting the red ribbon at the bank’s headquarters in Glasnevin, Dublin, Labour leader Joan Burton claimed that the new bank would offer Irish consumers a credible alternative to…
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